Q. Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)
A. I know I can't be the only one to sometimes forget what makes me beautiful, or even just different. 2010 seemed like a year where I spent too much time trying to make people happy and too much effort trying to blend in. It's funny how you can get so caught up in life that you start taking yourself for granted. I'm still not sure how it happens, or at what point it becomes totally noticeable. But I noticed it this year.
I noticed how I stopped caring about what made me different, because I was too busy trying to be what I thought other people wanted me to be. I stopped doing things that other people might think were dorky. I stopped saying things I didn't think other people wanted to hear. I started telling myself I should be thoroughly grateful for what I have, and therefor not question what I don't.
In the midst of all that, I started forgetting what actually made me different. And I started forgetting that being different was a beautiful thing. Go figure.
So this prompt took me a little while to get started on. It had to stew around in my head a little bit before I was ready to write about it.
But, like Samantha Kira over at Journal Girl, I finally decided to take this opportunity to speak about myself in a positive way. Because really, there's nothing like affirming the beautifulness of your unique individuality like solidifying it in writing (and then forcing yourself to re-read it all when happen to be feeling especially low).
I am different because I'm a nerd. I like trivia, and monopoly, and colour coding and harbouring useless information in my head. I am a driven and I dream big. Probably bigger than I really need to, but I can't help it.
I love Dawson's Creek like nobodies business, but not quite as much as I love Chicago, Phantom of the Opera, Moulin Rouge and Glee. I'm convinced I was a singer in a previous life, but in this one I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket if I had to.
I could spend hours in a Coles or Chapters, and have been known to go on shopping sprees on amazon and indigo.com - only to stop and really think about my looming purchases once I'm told about the $20.00 shipping fee. I love shopping online - but sometimes I refuse to acknowledge the pure robbery that is shipping fees to Canada.
I am different because I love doing things for people, and often feel guilty when I can't do the things I would like to. I have come to recognize that this is both a blessing and a curse - as I tend to see the best in everyone upfront. Commonly, this means I learn the hard way when someone doesn't quite appreciate me, because I give so much of me from the beginning. But I've come to understand that's just who I am.
I am different because I daydream. In that "I wish I could travel the world and take all my family and friends with me" kind of way. I always have my head in the clouds, or in the future or in the past. I'm working on trying on staying in the future, but again, I've come to understand that's just who I am.
I'm different because I can see structure, and patterns and potential systems in chaos. I can whip up an excel spreadsheet for just about anything faster than you can say Microsoft Office. I make a mean spaghetti bolognese and love every minute of the 4 hours it takes to make.
I'm beautifully different because I like pashmina's, newsboy caps, headbands with feathers and pearls. I don't usually fit in, and it is practically hopeless for me to look good in the top trends - so I stopped trying to follow them. I go my own way, and pick and choose the things that I like to wear, rather than trying to make the newest trend suit me. Because they probably never will. I have crazy and wiry curly hair that I'm still learning to tame - and it's beautiful. My hips are too large, and my face too round - but they are still beautiful.
Whether I want to admit it or not, I will always be beautifully different in my own little way. So I might as well accept it.
Do you ever have trouble remembering what makes your beautifully different?
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