A. To be completely honest, I'm fairly certain I am a better wanderer than I am a wonderer. So of course, my first instinct was to answer this question with an answer consisting of "nothing. I have done nothing to cultivate wonder because I don't carry a sense of wonder in any bone of my body."
But I forced myself to consider the question a little bit deeper... which kept me away from my computer screen for over 3 days (I was afraid to come back without an answer).
The truth is, 2010 was a great year in some senses, but a numbing year in other senses. If you've ever read the book "When Wallflowers Dance" by Angela Thomas - you'll know what I mean when I say I feel like in 2010 I was/am becoming an unwoman. The kind of woman that isn't really sure if she wants blueberries or strawberries, or worse, doesn't even really care. The more I thought about this prompt, the more I realized not only did I lack a sense of wonder, I didn't really care to have one either - which was something I did not take lightly.
I should probably point out that I used to have a great sense of wonder.
Sometimes I would even lie on my back in the middle of the yard (or in my room, or anywhere really) and wonder about endless possibilities than any one person has over the course of their lives. The places that could be visited, and the things that could be accomplished. And then growing up happened.
All of a sudden you have these grand responsibilities that you can't turn away from anymore - and I think people become accustomed to this. They become accustomed to their jobs, their bills and their lifestyles to the point where there just isn't time for wondering anymore. And even if there was time, I don't think a lot of people (myself included) could justify spending even 30 minutes embracing their sense of wonder when they could be doing laundry, or making lists, or cleaning their living room.
it seems the older we get, the more of a luxury having a sense of wonder becomes. Eventually it becomes one of those things that people forget how to do, or even how to incorporate it into their lifestyles every once in a while.
It makes me sad to think that I've lost a year of my life to living in such a way that didn't allow for a sense of wonder and joy - and I'm looking forward to being able to answer this question a little bit better this time next year.
3 comments:
I couldn't write about wonder either, and have also spent the last few days thinking about what a cynical, jaded person I must be.
Then I read your entry and felt so much better. You said everything I couldn't think to say. BIG kudos!
You make such a wonderful point. It is all too easy for us to lose our sense of wonder. Life becomes automatic...we get up at the same time, go to work, make dinner, watch tv, go to bed...and repeat. I wish I could be 5 years old again to re-live the experience of everything in the world being exciting!
Oh Gina, thanks for understanding! Sometimes I think I'm the only one who thinks like that. I suppose there's nothing wrong with being cynical or jaded from time to time. I'm about to jump over to your corner of the earth and see what reverbage you've been up to lately!
Katie - thanks for stopping by! I hear you about the routine thing. It never used to be like that, but I think as soon as we get jobs and "grow up" and forget to take time to just run around outside - things just automatically become mundane. Here's to having more wonder in 2011!
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